Day 3: Growing in Love and Losing Love

Day 3: Growing in Love and Losing Love 2017-05-21T18:52:33-06:00

Navigating the Romantic Fantasy

Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown

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What You’ll Learn:

  • Explore compassion, heartbreak and the construction of romantic fantasy in modern culture
  • Navigate the modern love tradition in different cultures
  • Hear about the importance of making friends with our own solitude
  • Experience a guided lovingkindness practice to help move from loneliness to aloneness

About Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown

Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown, Ph.D., is professor of Religious Studies at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado, where she has taught since 1978. She served as Dean of the Shambhala International Teachers’ Academy for nine years, and teaches internationally for Shambhala. Her teaching specialties are meditation practice, Shambhala teachings, Buddhist philosophy, tantric Buddhism, and contemplative higher education. Her book, Dakini’s Warm Breath (Shambhala 2001), explores the feminine principle as it reveals itself in meditation practice and everyday life for women and men. She has also edited Meditation and the Classroom: Contemplative Pedagogy for Religious Studies (SUNY 2011). She and her husband, Richard, have two adult children and three grandchildren.

What do you think? Leave a comment below.


  1. AM Samuel May 21, 2017 at 8:03 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Judith! For this insightful and beautiful session. The Practice of the Four Wishes just resonated with me.
    With much gratitude for the opportunity to be able to watch all of this.
    AM Samuel

  2. Kim May 21, 2017 at 6:34 pm - Reply

    Many thanks Judith for explaining the origins of romantic love and sharing your teaching. It helped me to better understand loneliness and aloneness.

  3. Sylvia Malkah Caldrón May 21, 2017 at 2:58 pm - Reply

    Judith, I first had a glimpse of the issue of Romantic Love on something you wrote many years ago, and it was eye oppening.
    Thank you for giving us this second step.

    Many blessings Acharya

    Sylvia M. Calderón

  4. Kristina May 21, 2017 at 1:52 pm - Reply


  5. Shujaat May 21, 2017 at 1:25 pm - Reply

    Thank you I could relate my experience absolutely with what you said.

  6. Patrick Leclercq May 21, 2017 at 8:38 am - Reply

    Being alone together feels indeed great. Love doing that in a choir, with guys practicing Qi Qong or in a meditative group of which tradition I don’t completely adhere to, but I like the guys there. Thank you for sharing this talk !

  7. Chaula May 21, 2017 at 6:52 am - Reply

    Thank you. This talk was exactly what I needed. It was very thought provoking. I am grateful to you. Thank you.

  8. Soita May 21, 2017 at 6:14 am - Reply

    Thank you. The world filled with western romance needs words like yours. To a rookie like me it seems difficult to change the view on that one, but I thank you for teaching me. Perhaps one day the false consept will be destroyed in my mind.

  9. Kirsten May 21, 2017 at 1:54 am - Reply

    I am so grateful that Trungpa Rinpoche met with students in the West that to this day have the generosity and the skilful means to bring his teachings on in their own personal way. Thank you from my heart!

  10. Pascal May 20, 2017 at 8:18 pm - Reply

    This explains why power is a solitude.

  11. Elisabeth Gold May 20, 2017 at 6:56 pm - Reply

    Superb, thank you, very helpful

  12. Emily May 20, 2017 at 3:35 pm - Reply

    That was a very moving loving kindness practice Thank you for your help and insight

  13. Nathalie May 20, 2017 at 2:49 pm - Reply

    Deep gratitude – precious precious teachings 🙂
    Thank you Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown!

  14. Alanna May 20, 2017 at 1:32 pm - Reply

    Dear Judith…Ah if only I had studied with you years ago…Such a clear insight into the fantasy and evolution of romantic love in the West that so many of grew up with and have struggled with most of our lives…How freeing to see the fallacy so clearly and embrace the full spectrum of real love and true connection and the raw humanness and beauty of living…Thank you beyond words and thank you for the loving kindness meditation.

  15. Mary Clark May 20, 2017 at 11:44 am - Reply

    WOW !!! Your explanation makes perfect sense in every cell and fiber of my being. In gratitude

  16. Robert May 20, 2017 at 11:39 am - Reply

    Judith, thank you for such a clear exposition, shared mindfully and compassionately. I sense the illusion slipping, if only just a little bit:-)

  17. jane smiley May 20, 2017 at 11:16 am - Reply

    Well stated. Most people in Western society I believe are unaware that the myth of romantic love is specific to their culture. They are under the perception that the only notion of love is “romantic love”. A lot of frustration and suffering would probably be eliminated if people would stop searching for love primarily outside themselves.

  18. Aruna May 20, 2017 at 7:08 am - Reply

    Every word resonated so well with me. Thank you Judith.

  19. Margaret McDaid May 20, 2017 at 6:03 am - Reply

    Thank you Judith,
    This came along just at the right time for me. Just identified that I was feeling lonely when recording in my daily journal

  20. Sherri May 19, 2017 at 9:06 pm - Reply

    Thank you!

  21. Lisa May 19, 2017 at 7:11 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Judith! A deeply grounded and beautifully delivered teaching. Many bows for sharing your practice and skillful ways…

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