Day 3: Growing in Love and Losing Love

Day 3: Growing in Love and Losing Love 2017-05-21T18:51:20-06:00

Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken

Lodro Rinzler

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What You’ll Learn:

  • Explore heartbreak as a universal experience
  • Discover how to connect to your own heartbreak
  • Hear what Lodro has to say to those who feel they won’t love again

About Lodro Rinzler

Lodro Rinzler has taught meditation for sixteen years in the Shambhala lineage and is the award-winning author of six books including The Buddha Walks into a Bar and Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the HeartbrokenHe has spoken across the world at conferences, universities and businesses as diverse as Google, Harvard University and the White House. Lodro’s work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street JournalThe Atlantic, FOX, CBS, and NBC. He serves as co-founder and Chief Spiritual Officer of MNDFL, NYC’s premier drop-in meditation studios.

To learn more about Lodro check out his website here.

What do you think? Leave a comment below.


  1. Donna May 21, 2017 at 9:26 am - Reply

    Thank you Lodro for your open honesty. Your deliverance touched my heart and helped me to feel more comfortable w my uncomfortableness .

  2. Janis McKenney May 21, 2017 at 8:25 am - Reply

    After listening to Lodro’s talk, there are tears in my eyes, my heart is full, and I feel love flowing in and out of me. Thank you, Lodro. I have been very touched by your words.

  3. Char May 21, 2017 at 7:11 am - Reply

    Oh my goodness…this talk! This talk is so remarkable and unexpectedly enlivening! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I thought about my scars and all the cups of tea I have had to calm frayed nerves… in case it might help anyone reading this, I, too, have felt a few whopper heartbreaks, and each time, not only did I eventually find joy again, I also discovered some surprises beyond what I could have imagined. Once I witnessed my own recovery, I had even more reverence for my life, plus a natural confidence and gratitude for a human body that got me through it all.

  4. Martha May 21, 2017 at 6:38 am - Reply

    Lodro thank you!!! It was so helpful, I love it.

  5. Soita May 21, 2017 at 3:42 am - Reply

    Thank you. This 20 minutes well spent started a new phase in my life. Thank you for teaching. This came into a dire need.

  6. Martha Zimmermann May 20, 2017 at 11:18 pm - Reply

    Taking the time to listen and learn,is something I did for myself today. The most powerful talk,that came from deep inside your heart. Thank you so much. Will always remember the mustard seed story.After a recent heartbreak,I did say too, I don’t think I can love again. it just hurts to much.- This too shall pass !

  7. Sibi Velasco May 20, 2017 at 10:36 pm - Reply

    I felt so empowered after listening to Lodro. Today has been such a hard day. all day long, and before bed get to watch this and I feel a lot calmer. I will definitely will journal the questions.
    Thank You!

  8. Tanne May 20, 2017 at 10:08 pm - Reply

    When the bottom drops out, friends like you give shine to life again

  9. Linda May 20, 2017 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    Thank you! X

  10. SUSAN JOYCE SABO May 20, 2017 at 5:30 pm - Reply

    Thank you for speaking from the heart–and not the head!

  11. Janette May 20, 2017 at 5:20 pm - Reply

    Thankyou ? I am going through heartbreak right now – last 24 hours. Working on being kind to myself today. Keeping grounded and breathing. I love that the emotions are not permanent- this too shall pass and to acknowledge the feeling of pain and sadness.

  12. Kevin Nies May 20, 2017 at 4:51 pm - Reply

    I’m in awe. You’ve articulated so well what has been taking place in my heart for the past year. Thank you for reminding me that “this too shall pass”, that I will learn from it and, in the end, gain greater compassion and clarity..

  13. Marita May 20, 2017 at 4:26 pm - Reply

    Thank you <3

  14. Marianna May 20, 2017 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    Excellent talk. Very empowering. Thank you so much!

    • Sam Gentile May 20, 2017 at 2:37 pm - Reply

      Excellent talk! I just recently had my wife end our marriage in its 25th year. I feel so lonely in my apartment thinking this is the way it will be forever. Your book and talk gives me hope

      • Gail May 20, 2017 at 9:03 pm - Reply

        Sam Gentile, You are not alone. Last year my husbsnd walked out on me. We were together for 29 years. I found out that he had been having a 5 year affair. My heart still breaks each day & I feel very alone but it is getting easier. I have been going to a trauma psychologist, I have a couple of really supportive friends & family. I have taken up a few activities to mix with other people, to get fit & learn new skills. I listen to these sorts of podcasts,read about personal growth & how to understand men, affairs, relationships. Look up John Gottman to understand relationships. Look up Anne Bercht to understand affairs. Lisa A Romano for co-dependancy. There is lots of material out there to help you make sense of it all, which I needed to do. I hope this helps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, that’s what I do. I am having more good days than bad now.

        • Maria Fernandez May 21, 2017 at 8:24 am - Reply


  15. Carin May 20, 2017 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    A huge comfort, your warm voice, your integrity, your calm, no ” it happens for a reason” , and applicable to all kinds of loss….and I have had a lot of that the last one and a half year…up to a point that I was thinking that there is a black cloud following me, or a kind of mano negra trying to grab me by the throat….the why me….but your video makes me realize that we all go through loss and we all grieve…thank you!

  16. Trish May 20, 2017 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    Lodro your warmth and kindness could be felt as I listened to your words. Yes, I can touch those moments of heartbreak and I will hold your words of how to care for myself. thank you

  17. Kristina May 20, 2017 at 1:06 pm - Reply

    Me too. Thanks for reminding us that we are not alone. <3

  18. Emily May 20, 2017 at 12:56 pm - Reply

    It was so useful to me to hear the story of the grieving woman who found that she was not alone. I also found it useful to learn a definition of heartbreak being that life does not go as expected Thank you so much for the love you are sending out to all of us

  19. Robert May 20, 2017 at 9:51 am - Reply

    I am going to a funeral today for a young man, who died suddenly and most unexpectedly. He is the age of our eldest son. So, I am pausing to be with my expectations …. and crying as I do so. I know these parents have had similar expectations for their son, and they will be heartbroken. And, my feeling this very moment and your lovely sharing, Lodro, assures me that they are not alone. Neither am I. in loving kindness then.

  20. Amber Fejes May 20, 2017 at 8:39 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have a calm and kind demeanor that’s ever so effective while approaching this very heavy emotional state. I also had a similar patch of three events snowballing into the most completely heartbroken state I’ve ever known. This loss of relationship, job/livelihood, and tragic death brought me to such a state of despair that I wasn’t sure how I could even go on. But all along this utter hopelessness has been a blessing as it’s directed me toward taking refuge in Dharma. Where I once felt totally isolated and alone, I’ve felt the overwhelming comfort of my path crossing so many wonderful and kind beings. I’m now at a point of an equally overwhelming sense of pure gratitude for all my trials as without them I wouldn’t have this vantage point or the ability to have genuine empathy for those suffering similar situations. And as I’m writing this I just can’t help but look back to how I felt then compared to now and be in complete awe of how impermanence can be such an immense burden when fighting against it and then a total blessing when leaning into it. Much love to all.

  21. Christine May 20, 2017 at 8:25 am - Reply

    Everyone has a mustard seed.

  22. Mac, Norfolk, England. May 20, 2017 at 5:00 am - Reply

    A most welcome and beautiful act of loving kindness. Thank you for sharing your insights with such eloquent clarity. Powerful and moving.

  23. Kim M May 20, 2017 at 2:30 am - Reply

    Captivating, resonating and heartfelt. Thank you.

  24. Claire May 20, 2017 at 2:04 am - Reply

    Beautiful words that resonate so clearly with me just now. Going to go and see a dear friend. Thank you for reminding me it passes

  25. Maggie May 20, 2017 at 1:39 am - Reply

    Thank you Lodro. You gave me great comfort.

  26. Angela Gilbert May 19, 2017 at 9:10 pm - Reply

    Excellent! Perhaps the best talk I’ve ever heard. Thank you for your wisdom, calm confidence, humility, ability to be articulate and efficient in your speech and gentle yet firm encouragement. Amazing!

  27. Lisa May 19, 2017 at 8:34 pm - Reply

    Yes, taking of myself…supporting the 7 foundations of awakening… You are so freely giving, Lodro. Many bows!

  28. Amy N. May 19, 2017 at 8:27 pm - Reply

    Beautiful insight into heartbreak… tender, poignant, and healing!; I just realized you are the author of the book I just started reading… The Buddha Walks Into a Bar. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

  29. Suzanne May 19, 2017 at 7:58 pm - Reply

    Thank you. Listening to you was the 1 thing I did today to take care of myself. I appreciate your transparency and perspective.

  30. Paty Herrera May 19, 2017 at 7:27 pm - Reply

    I’m so happy I joined it made a lot of sense and I am very greatful

  31. Phillip Brewster May 19, 2017 at 7:16 pm - Reply

    A very powerful witness to all heartbreak. The four questions are soul searching in a surprising way coming from someone you know of nothing to becoming very connected and to begin healing.

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